Whoops! I'm a little behind!

Midnight Movie Review: X-Men: First Class

Apparently I'm never talking about another board game again.  :P

Midnight Movie Review: Pirates of the Caribbean - On Stranger Tides

TL;DW, don't bother unless you really REALLY like Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow.

Ubongo 3D

The original Ubongo happens to be one of my favorite games of all time, as it invokes memories of tangrams and other puzzles from my youth.  Then I tried Ubongo Xtreme and found that I was apparently not as smart as I thought I was.  Never before had a puzzle game handed my ass to me so handily than with Ubongo Xtreme's hexagon based puzzles.  I felt like an idiot and resigned myself to a life of simple plain Ubongo and maybe some Ubongo: The Duel.

For some reason that totally didn't involve alcohol, I decided to give a new flavor of Ubongo a try at the last BGG.CON.  Ubongo 3D was awesome looking, sporting hefty three dimensional puzzle pieces that are as well made as they are intimidating.  My brain was already hurting.  In a further sadistic twist, we decided to try the advanced puzzled.  My brain was already screaming in agony.  The first couple of rounds didn't go well for any of us players, and it wasn't until mid-game that the puzzles began speaking to me.  Not in a schizophrenic kill-'em-all kind of way, but in a gentle, less murderous fashion that allowed me to solve every puzzle after that.  I ended up winning by a good margin, and I was resolved to own this game very soon. 

Not long after getting my copy of the game, I gave it a try with my normal gang of gamers.  Since my friends aren't the biggest Ubongo fans we opted to try the normal puzzles at first.  My brain was confident it wouldn't get hurt.  My brain was wrong.  The puzzles mopped the floor with all of us, and after 5 rounds of no one solving a puzzle we called the game.





There were a couple of factors that led to our utter failure.  One was the game pieces themselves.  Unlike previous versions of Ubongo, the players are not given their own set of pieces, and must instead draw from a community pile.  This was a jarring and most unwelcome change from the games past, and something I clearly didn't remember from my first play-through.  The next was the difficulty of the puzzles.  The game is simply much harder than regular Ubongo, and almost rivals Ubongo Xtreme in sheer frustration.  Finally, my clear lack of booze no doubt contributed to my personal woes in the game.

Despite all this, Ubongo 3D is fun.  Playing with the big bulky pieces is like playing with live Tetris blocks, and there's few awesomely cathartic feelings as completing one of these mind-bending puzzles.  Try this game, if you dare.  It's not for the faint of mind.

Midnight Movie Review: Thor

Fails of the Week

It took 31 episodes, but I'm finally back on Achievement Hunters' Fails of the Weak. Hop to 2:03 for my clip, but the rest is pretty funny too.



Just so y'all know I'm the one armor-locking, not the one flying into the drink. :)

Also, this...

Portal 2

The first part of this review is spoiler free. Spoilery thoughts are at the bottom and greyed out.

The first Portal game was not merely "good". It was an inspired work of sublime genius that gave rivaled Half-Life 2 as the greatest video game of all time. One of the most memorable aspects of Portal is that is that the game seemingly came out of nowhere. It was a super awesome surprise of gaming sunshine that brought enlightenment and fun to a world dominated by World of Warcraft and random space marines.

In many ways, Portal 2 had the deck stacked against it from the get-go. First off, the announcement by Valve that heralded the release of Portal's sequel was a disappointment for fans anticipating the eagerly awaited Half-Life 2 Episode 3. It's reached the point that waiting for an Episode 3 announcement is a bit like waiting for Guffman, and Portal 2 was a focal point for this anticipatory rage. The game could have been "Boobies and Girl-On-Girl Snogging" and Half-Life fans would've still raged. Secondly, the original Portal was an insanely difficult act to follow. Like Ninja Gaiden Black hard (that's "really fucking hard" for you casuals out there). How could any sequel following Portal actually be good, let alone better than the original?

As it turns out, Portal 2 isn't better than Portal. It's longer, and has more content, and to say that it's just as good as Portal is extremely high praise. It will rightfully take it's place among the pantheon of Half-Life 2 and Portal as supremely exemplary video games. Some of the story seems a bit contrived. Oh, we're escaping from the run-down Aperture Science facility! Now we're doing test chambers. AGAIN! It seems like a cop from some 80's action movie should've turned the corner and stated gruffly, "NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN."

In the original Portal, the story was mostly told by GLADoS while your character, Chell, performed portal gun tests. The game then switched to more haphazard, emphasis on "hazard", missions outside of the testing environment. These levels were more story related, and weren't part of the normal numbered test chambers. The transition between these seemingly contrasting levels was very smooth, and some of that seems to be lost in Portal 2. Characters sometimes spell out where you are precisely, and that seems to border on pandering. The ending Jonathan Coulton song is also not nearly as memorable as Still Alive from the first Portal. It's a fine song, but it really doesn't stick in the mind the way Still Alive did.

That paragraph were the only spoiler-free nitpicks that exist for Portal 2. As for everything else, it's outstanding. Playing the game, solving the puzzles, and most of all listening to the characters is pure joy. It's a familiar feeling to anyone who played Portal. Portal 2 also feels much bigger and grander than the original, from beginning to end. Portal 2 delivers in every way, and is easily the best game released so far this year. The only difference is that this is expected from the franchise. Where Portal was an unforeseen delight, Portal 2 is a fantastic game that was expected to be fantastic. To meet such high expectations is certainly high praise, indeed.

Also, I finished the game without any help or cheats. Someone give me a goddamn medal.

Now for some spoilery thoughts (highlight to read).

* I'm a bit disappointed in the final boss fight, which is yet another giant computer thing. Granted, it was fun and had a most epic ending, but I was hoping for something more different than the original Portal.

* When I was referring to characters spelling things out for the player, I was specifically referring to Wheatley. He mentions "Just X test chambers to go!" so many times that I overshadowed the otherwise outstanding voice-acting and writing. GLADoS did this once as well, and it just felt a little cheap.

* All that said, Wheatley's betrayal, while not entirely unexpected, was still very well done. GLADoS' embarrassing potato situation was also hilarious.

* J.K. Simmons' Cave Johnson comes very close to rivaling GLADoS as a test chamber "companion". The journey through past Aperture facilities was the highlight of the game, and was the perfect combination of hard puzzles and engrossing story.

* I fucking DIED during the turret choir scene! REALLY. That was insane. Also ANIMAL KING TURRET IN THE BACKGROUND!!! EEEEEE!!!

* Finally, I'm in space.